Life on Autopilot: Preference and Aversion

Avoidance and preference mirror each other. They affect how we interact with the world around us in many subtle ways that, collectively, make a give impact on our life. A collection of preferences and aversions can be compared to an autopilot system that corrects and guides our life decisions, both small and large. If we allow this autopilot system to steer our decision making, we give up the power of choice.

The foundation of preference and aversion is fear, small fears and larger ones. The preferences and aversions we hold on to become our self identity. We become attached to this idea of self, we mistakenly think of our environmentally built identity as all that we are.

The core fear associated with any change to our preferences and aversions is the fear of losing one’s identity: “Without my idea of self, who and what am I?”

The truth is that we can never lose our self. We may change drastically throughout our lives, but there is a core that is still us. What changes, is the expression of our self. When we hold on too tightly to the beliefs we adopted as children we stay in a near changeless state – we do not allow the expression of self to grow with the world around us.

All change is growth. Through change we are confronted with new and unknown situations, this gives us the opportunity to think of creative ways to interact with them. Through exploring the unknown, we often rediscover ourselves. 

Sometimes when I talk about change, people close up. They become rigid, holding on to the past and afraid to lose their idea of self. When I start talking about growth, people ease up. I imagine that they think “well, that’s not so bad.” Use the term that suites you best, but know that its just a term – both represent the same idea.

To relinquish your autopilot system and resume growth, be present for the decisions you make in each moment. Instead of rushing through life, take a step back and live it consciously. It really is as easy as that.

More on “The Power of Choice” to come…